Literary Dog

(Zipper)

DOGGIE DICTIONARY

LEASH:
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your mum and dad where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED:
any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL:
Is what you do when your mum and dad have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF:
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN:
A container where mum and dad put food they don't want to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and dry crusts of bread.

DEAFNESS:
This is an affliction which affects dogs when their mum or dad want them out and they want to stay in. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

WASTEBASKET:
This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your mum and dad comes home.

BATH:
This is a process by which mum and dad drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

BUMP:
The best way to get your mum and dad's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

LOVE:
Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

-Author unknown